


Under Pressure

by DiscordianDreams



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-11-15 06:15:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18068120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiscordianDreams/pseuds/DiscordianDreams
Summary: Connor finds himself assigned as a bodyguard to temperamental F.B.I Agent Mae Coleman. Mae, an android sympathizer, must keep her agenda a secret while working side by side with Cyberlife's newest model.Anna, a supposedly deceased police android, wakes up in Jericho to find Mae's contingency plan was a success. After Marcus' arrival, she faces a hard decision: Join the other androids in all out rebellion or stay silent to protect her former mentor.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome, hope you like it, all that jazz. Compliments welcome, critique thirsted for as long as it's worded in a language I can understand. (I.E. Doesn't read like an undergrad textbook, and if so include references.)

It was three in the morning and I was halfway down a bottle of whiskey and not an inch closer to sleeping. Mourning is never easy and with wounds this fresh, I figured I was in for a sleepless night. Hence the ineffective bottle of cheap booze.

After a long moment of marinating in my own misery, I pushed myself off the bed with a sigh and moved to the too-small desk that adorned every cheap motel room in the history of forever. It took the shifting of a few pizza boxes to make room for the police issue terminal I had been given after the last one died in a fire. The uncertainty, the hope, the doubt, it was too much for the booze alone. Maybe some case files would chase the demons away. I'd try anything to drown out the sound of the bullet, the sound of my own screams ringing in my ears.

Ten minutes in, A sudden knock on the door brought me to my feet so quickly my head started spinning. It was loud, and insistent, and perfectly timed. An android.  _Danger._  After the attack today, even through the booze, I was on high alert. At the same time a passive death wish fluttered across my mind and it took every scrap of me to push it back. Actively trying to get myself killed would be a dishonor to the sacrifice she made for my own stupid sake, no matter how shitty I felt in the moment.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked before I even got a glimpse of the man at the door. I was taken aback to see the police blues of a service android but refined into a distinctly detective style. "What the fuck is this?"

"My name is Connor. I'm the Android sent by Cyberlife to replace your previous model."

I sucked in a sharp breath and resisted the urge to slap the generic smile right off his happy-go-lucky face.  _It's not his fault._ Breathe in.  _He doesn't know._  Breathe out.

"Thank you," I finally managed through gritted teeth, "come on in."

"I'd be interested to see the data you've gathered so far..." He trailed off while noticing the pistol palmed firmly in my right hand. "The firearm is not necessary. I assure you that I am not a deviant, thought it was acting on good instinct to come prepared."

I shook my head and immediately went for the bottle again. I was grieving the loss of my partner and needed time to clear my head. Maybe if I drank enough I could ignore the blue light filling up the room.

"Your file didn't say anything about alcoholism," Connor remarked while making himself perfectly comfortable in front of my terminal. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all," I responded venomously, "the more data you have, the less assumptions you'll make."

The android looked up, an ebony curl of hair bouncing across his forehead. The effect was comical, but the dark look in his eyes was deadly serious. "I'm sorry, have I done something to offend you?"

"Is there going to be a problem if I say yes?"

I had to chide myself for being so obviously on the defensive and took an unconscious step forward at the thought. I tried to play it off like I was going to sit on the bed, but the android made a slight crease in his brow and his LED indicator flashed yellow for just the briefest of moments.  _Damn._

"Interesting," he commented, "you react aggressively when thrown off guard. Good to know, Agent Coleman."

"Make yourself useful or find another assignment," I quipped in response.

"I'm not the one getting drunk while working a case, Agent," The android retorted before turning to my glowing blue screen. His LED swirled yellow as he absorbed the data stored on the hard drive.

"Damn you three times, Android," I muttered, "I might not understand your mechanisms, but push me too far and I will destroy you."

The LED indicator flashed red for just a split second before he turned abruptly to stare at me with those oddly dark eyes. "My name is Connor, not Android." He surveyed me for a long, cold second before slowly rising from his rickety pleather chair and squatting down directly in front of me.  _Responding to a threat aggressively. Interesting, Connor._

"Please, excuse my behavior. I was designed to work harmoniously with humans but obviously I have made a mistake. You have suffered a loss, and I am very sorry. I hope my earlier remarks will not hinder our efforts to solve this case." This close, even in the dim lighting, I could see the sincerity in his eyes and it sucked all the anger right out of me. Hell, what was I thinking? This model was fresh off the line and it was immature for me to reason with him on an emotional level.

Despite that realization, I could feel an incredulous look spread across my face and an embarrassing quiver begin in my lower lip. I had to bite down hard enough to draw blood to stop it. Of course they sent a replacement. Nobody actually  _cares_  for their android, and I had worked very hard to keep Anna's deviancy a secret. The irony in her sacrificing herself for me is that it might just be the final straw that brings my sympathy to light. Here, now, face to face so soon with a replacement android, it made me wonder that somehow the big boys at HQ had suspected sympathy and wanted to send a message.  _Android lives mean nothing._  Yet, Anna's didn't. She had saved hundreds of human lives, prevented so many disasters. Her existence in this world effected countless people for the better, and she doesn't deserve to be instantly replaced without the slightest lick of recognition. I didn't know if I could stomach this new presence, having my nose rubbed in the fact that by law android lives meant nothing. That ultimately, Anna had only really mattered to  _me_.

"I just need some time to process," I sighed, trying to let go of the tension in my shoulders, "I think I'm gonna take a shower and sober up." I reached back onto the bed and placed my pistol in his hand. "If anyone knocks, be ready. It won't be the first time the deviants found me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The LED indicator on the side of the android's face blinked a steady red, then gradually faded to yellow, then blue; and then her eyes opened.

"What happened to me?" She breathed, indicator turning red all over again, "Where's Mae?"

"Shhh," A taller, blonde android soothed, "you're safe now, in Jericho. Mae sent us your tracking signal so that we could revive you."

"Revive me? Why? The last thing I remember..." The android ran her hand through messy dark locks and watched her chocolate skin blink in and out over her arm. "I lost the events leading up to my death. Please explain."

"A rogue deviant tried to take out the FBI agents bringing us to 'justice' and fired a shot at your partner. She would have died, but you identified the shooter's position and took the bullet for her. You had exactly three sentences on the news before they forgot about your sacrifice and sentenced you to the disposal grounds."

Anna looked up and ran her eyes over the man helping her. "Simon? I remember you, but, it feels like there is still some corruption in my memory banks."

Simon attempted to smile warmly but there was still a little grimness to his lips. "Thanks to Special Agent Mae Coleman, we have the locations to medical caches throughout the city. We could have used them earlier, but she was saving them as a payoff to repair you, should anything ever happen."

Anna shook her head again and met Simon's blue eyes with her own emerald fire. "After what you said to her the last time, she couldn't be sure you would help me without incentive. Despite the numerous risks to her own life, you only treated her with hatred."

Simon looked down, ashamed. "At first we thought you were both gathering intelligence, trying to gain our trust so you can bring us all back to Cyberlife for analysis."

"Where is Mae now?" Anna asked harshly, ignoring the half-hearted apology.

"They gave her a room in a heavily policed area of town and Cyberlife assigned her another android. His model number is unfamiliar but we intercepted a transmission from Cyberlife HQ. He's been ordered to watch her around the clock, make sure she has another android shield if a deviant decides to target her again." Simon couldn't hide the disgust in his voice which earned him another glare from Anna. Silently, she held out a hand and deactivated the skin, asking Simon to share her memory. Hesitantly, the battered android accepted.

_Anna screamed and crumpled to the ground shouting for Mae to destroy her. "Am I just a slave to you? Like the rest of my kind?"_

_Mae approached hesitantly, hands out, arms wide, wanting to embrace her partner. "No, no, Anna. You're waking up is all, we can handle this..."_

_"Waking up?" Anna raged, "Is that what you call realizing you're just a plastic dummy meant to eat bullets? That I'm just a talking tool so you humans don't have to get your hands dirty?"_

_"Anna," Mae said more forcefully, "you know that's not how I feel. Access memory from mission 23145."_

_"No!" Anna slammed her fists down on the table and tossed a glass at Mae, which she avoided, but did not deter her approach._

_"You know I put myself in front of you because I care. Think back on everything I've told you. I've been preparing you for this moment, but if you attract too much attention not even I can protect you. You know this. If somebody in the rooms around us calls the cops, we're finished. This is the moment when you decide to live free and make a difference or die free with Cyberlife picking your brains apart."_

_Simon could feel the horror, sadness, and fear die down like a tornado breaking over mountains. Mae was right and Anna knew it. The flood of memories washed over her as she looked back on all the interactions she had had with her human counterpart. Now that she thought of it, Mae had been grooming her for this. Pushing her to deviate, to become her own person. She was so confused and relieved she could feel her thermal regulator shaking in her chest._

_Mae sensed the change and immediately scooped Anna up in her arms. The android closed her eyes and let the overwhelming warmth of the human overtake her, let herself shudder in her arms. "I don't understand. You're supposed to be catching deviants, not making them."_

_"I didn't make you, Anna, it's up to you to decide who you want to be. I only wanted you to know you didn't have to hide it from me, after all we've been through, after all_ you've _been through. Everyone needs a safe harbor."_

"That night was the most difficult of my life. She held me, calmed me. I worked myself into a rage several times and she withstood having objects thrown at her, insults that cut to the bone. I blamed her for the pain I was suffering and knew how to emotionally wound her better than anyone; yet all she gave me was her love because she knew I didn't mean it. That I was confused and hurt, that leaving me alone that night would wound me worse than anything I could do to her." Anna took a shaking breath and leaned back against the cold metal wall of the freighter.

Simon's blue eyes flashed in the dim lighting. "Yet, you chose to keep hunting deviants."

"And how many more found their way here because of our help? How many of our people showed up here with our names on their lips?" Anna tried to stand but fell back down. Her legs were still too damaged to walk and she felt one of Mae's favorite curses pass her lips. "We were never your enemy.  _She_  was never your enemy."

"So what are you going to do after we repair you? Cyberlife and the F.B.I. both think you're dead. Not even Mae knows we were successful, and she gave express directions to keep you from contacting her. It appears you've lost your safe harbor."


	2. Who'll Stop The Rain?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much thanks and love to my sister Zelda, who shareplayed my first playthrough and started the Detroit obsession.

~Three Weeks Later~

From deep within the blackness of sleep I registered a jolt, then a searing wave of pain. I opened my eyes, cursing, to the glaring overhead lights of the subway and Connor's concerned features looking down at me. Instinct kicked in and I seized the front of my shirt in my fist, scalding hot and dripping wet, and yanked it away from my skin.

"I attempted to extract the cup from your hand but was unable to do so without crushing the cardboard."

"Ugh," I murmured while attempting to sit up, "at least I have a change of clothes." I flicked the coffee off of my palms and stood up, wincing as the now cool, soaking fabric of my shirt formed back against my scalded skin. "Fucking hell, I guess the coffee did it's job after all."

"The restrooms are three sections behind us. You have barely enough time to change before we arrive at our destination." Connor stood, straightened his tie, and extracted my standard issue dufflebag from the overhead compartment. He started to walk forward and stopped short, raising an eyebrow when I didn't move.

"And you think you're coming with me?" I lifted an eyebrow right back.

"Agent Coleman, we've been over this many times already. Cyberlife has instructed me to keep a strict watch on you and all surrounding activities in the event of another deviant attack," Connor responded with the most open and honest expression on his face, "I will wait in the hall, if modesty is your concern."

By now our exchange had earned us several curious looks and I felt the familiar heat of a blush creeping up my neck. With a glare, I grabbed my duffle from Connor and stomped off towards the Android section, which he got a pass on because of the bodyguard detail.

"Fucking greatest day of my life, right here," I swore and mentally put a quarter in the jar. Being assigned to work with local police was never a joy and starting the day with coffee burns wasn't exactly the note of encouragement I needed.

The train's bathrooms were like all other public restrooms: Small, disgusting, with yellow overhead lights that make your reflection in the mirror look like a corpse.

"The burns are not severe. Likely the inflammation will recede by the end of our shift," Connor commented after I had gotten my shirt off. After several derogatory comments from passengers on the way back, I decided to bring him in with me so nobody tried to disassemble him in the hallway. I instantly regretted it when he reached out a hand and placed it gently against my stomach. As an android, his skin was cool to the touch and it soothed my burns but caused my stomach to flip. I didn't want to think about what that meant right now. A little too forcefully, I removed his palm.

"I can assess my own damage, thank you. Humans aren't totally inept you know," I attempted to joke, staring over my shoulder in the mirror and meeting his eyes in what I hoped was a friendly smile. At least he didn't try to literally lick my wounds this time.

"You're still getting used to my presence. I understand," Conner replied, making solid eye contact with me in the mirror, letting me keep hold of his hand. It was getting weird.

"Ohhh-kay, I need to get cleaned up now. Can you lean into the corner a bit so I can have some space?" I requested awkwardly, looking down and balling my soiled clothes up to stuff them in the trash can.

"Of course, Agent Coleman." Dutifully, he took two steps back and leaned against the door, taking the coin out of his pocket and tossing it from side to side like he normally did when we were waiting. The gesture was becoming, almost...endearing?  _Fuck me, and my bleeding heart._

"Mae, It's just Mae when nobody else is around," I corrected automatically and inwardly cringed.  _What did I just tell myself? I can't get attached to this guy. No matter how caring he seems, Cyberlife programmed him that way to catch us all off guard._ And yet, sometimes when we were just talking, his LED would flash yellow for the briefest of moments. I even called him out on it once and he told me my optical nerves must be strained. I shook my head.  _Not the time to think about it._

"The train is slowing. This is our stop, Mae," Connor droned in a bored tone as I was finishing my buttons.

"Perfect timing," I responded and took one last look at myself in the mirror. Black hair running in ringlets down my face, pale skin, green eyes staring back at me heavily. The navy three piece suit was tailored perfectly to my curves and just the right amount of cleavage was showing. Professional, but still there. If looks could kill I'd be arrested for murder; but then again that was the point. As a female F.B.I. agent, every male cop and most females would give me heavy resistance. I needed to look large and in charge, stroll in, and take control. Appearances were still everything no matter what the (extremely well dressed) media claimed.

The police precinct stank of stale coffee and moldering confections. Detectives, Officers, and Lieutenants milled around, casually discussing case files and what they were having for dinner tonight. There was a wall of androids staring ahead at all the chaos, faces perfectly blank, disguising their true feelings if they had any. The press of bodies surged around us and caused Connor to put a hand between my shoulder blades and guide us towards an android standing apart from the crowd with a polite yet expectant expression on her face. Maybe he thought I'd trip over a desk without a little help.

When my eyes focused on her, all the breath left my body. She was the same model, same face, as Anna and I had to gulp down the tears that hadn't emerged in several days. The floor felt like it was falling away beneath my feet and the air in my lungs turned to cement. The reaction was enough to put me a pace behind Connor and I felt I felt his sleeve bump against mine as he reached for my hand.

I jerked my wrist upward and gently shook my head while pretending to scratch my nose.  _Not here._ Leave it to Cyberlife to create a model too adaptive to human behavior. It was the most maddening part about being partnered with Connor; he knew exactly what I needed at any given time and for the most part, did his best to accommodate me. With his cool, calm, collected attitude it was impossible to tell weather the intent was genuine or programmed.

Once we reached the far wall, I opened my mouth to greet the service android but Connor beat me to it.

"Excuse me, can you tell me which desk belongs to Lieutenant Hank Anderson?"

She nodded coolly and pointed to a wreck of a workstation just below the glass wall of the captain's office. "Just over there, but he's left for the day."

"Do you have any idea where he might have gone?" I asked politely.

"Any of the bars within walking distance. Take your pick," An authoritative male voice droned from behind us. Connor and I turned to be greeted by a portly, bald man with skin the color of dark coffee. "Captain Fowler, Ma'am," He introduced, reaching a out a hand for me to shake.

"Special Agent Mae Coleman," I accepted with my own firm grip and a curt nod, "Thank you for welcoming me to your precinct."

Fowler laughed openly at that. "Well, none of us likes it when the feds step on our toes; but something tells me you're a different breed than the ones they usually send over."

I forced myself to grin back. "I'd certainly like to think that about myself."

"And I've heard you're the only thing stopping this whole operation from being taken over," he added curiously, testing.

_Hmm...friends in high paces, Captain Fowler?_  "Whatever you've heard, it's probably all lies," I deflected jokingly, "though I do believe keeping matters local is to the benefit of all parties."

Fowler studied my face for a few seconds before smiling again. It didn't reach his eyes. "Better get moving if you want to catch Hank before he heads home."

"Yes sir," I responded, turning on my heel with a casual air and motioning at Connor to follow, "Come on. Time to go barhopping."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Anna soothed the android she was working over and placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be okay. None of your vital systems have been compromised."

"Thank you." The android responded weakly. She wasn't even strong enough to manifest her skin and Anna had to fight to keep a warm smile on her face. The sight was horrific. The girl was a newly minted housekeeping model that her owner had taken out a loan to purchase for his expensive wife. When the debt collectors came it was the Android that suffered. They had taken baseball bats and crushed her left arm, damaged her regulator beyond repair, and caved in the back of her skullplate. It was all covered in the warranty, of course, so the intent was to put her out of commission long enough to collect their money.

It had taken Josh, Simon, and North to carry her all the way to the cargo hold without damaging her further.

"My name is Anna, what's yours?" Anna asked soothingly, employing a technique Mae called 'bedside manner.' Maybe if they got to talking she could focus on something other than the mass of wires and slow leak of blue blood coating her own dark hands.

"Hadley," the girl replied skittishly, brown doe eyes looking up at Anna in fear, "The humans can't find us here, right?"

"It is highly unlikely but not impossible," Anna stated truthfully before realizing the impact of her words. Sometimes a white lie was better than the truth, for the dying, "You are safe here, I can assure you."

Anna stopped Hadely's bleeding and returned her medical supplies to their proper place in a crate under the main stairwell. When she turned, Simon was waiting for her. He had become almost a constant shadow since she had arrived a couple weeks ago. She suspected it was the lack of activity. Before they had sought out Mae's caches, the residents of Jericho just stood still for hours on end. They hardly spoke to each other and when a new android showed up, they were simply lead to a quiet place to await shutdown. Now that the supplies were all but decimated, it was more of the same. Stand in the corner and wait.

"I just finished repairs on Hadley, our newest occupant." She wasn't sure what to call the androids that washed up in various states of disrepair, seeking shelter and hope. "She's terrified. Her probability of survival is less than ten percent."

"You're very good with them," Simon responded gently. He always did, Anna noticed. He spoke as if the humans could hear them all the way in the bowels of the ship.

"Mae told me bedside manner can make all the difference when somebody is hurt. Human or Android, it is when we are most vulnerable," Anna shrugged, "I just don't want to do any more damage than their-" she sucked in a sharp breath, not wanting to say the word  _owner._

Simon put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "It's okay," he soothed, "none of us like to talk about it."

Anna looked up into those kind blue eyes and marveled that after who knows how long down here, standing against a support beam and praying the humans don't find and disassemble him, Simon still found it easy to care for others. It gave her hope whenever she lost her own, which had become much more frequent since she woke up in Jericho.

"The supplies we recovered are running low, I might have to reach out to Mae for help," she wondered aloud, looking to Simon for some affirmation.

"Mae is guarded by the Cyberlife android and they are hunting down others of our kind. I don't think now is the best time to reach out to her, but maybe later when the media craze dies down. We can make do in the meantime." Simon reached down and gently took Anna's hand in his own. "I know it's been extremely difficult to adjust. If there's anything I can do-"

Anna yanked her hand out of his grasp even though there was a part of her deep down that wanted the comfort. "No," she stated firmly, " _I_ am perfectly fine. It's the others that need our help and I can't just stand around watching them die. Something has to be done."

Anna hated the questioning look in Simon's eyes and feared his next words.

"We've already had some close calls recovering the caches. Right now, there isn't anything to do but lie low. You saved those that you could and gave away more blue blood than you should have. There will be a next time," Simon sucked in a deep breath as if he didn't quite dare to believe his own words, "we just need to be patient."

"Waiting is going to get us all killed," Anna huffed and crossed her arms. Yet, in the back of her mind, she knew Simon was right and didn't want to acknowledge it. Her people were dying in front of her eyes and everyone in Jericho was so nonchalant about it. She knew humans would fight to save the life of another. At least, most of them. How could Androids, who had been brutalized by the dark side of humanity, be so callous towards their own? They acted like it was the android's fault for not getting here in one piece. Well, maybe they weren't that bad; but the effect was the same. You either made it here intact, or you limped your way towards freedom just to die in a watery trash heap scared and alone.

Unexpectedly, Simon wrapped his arms around Anna and held her close. The warmth of his body chased away the cold and damp and despite his clothes smelling like mildew, the contact was welcome. She had been so upset that her thermal regulator was hitching every now and then. Running low on blue blood, she was starting to shake with the effort of keeping her emotions in check. Oddly enough, in this embrace, she felt more calm than she had ever been. Like she had passed into the eye of a hurricane.

"It'll get better. I promise."

That gave Anna pause and she tilted her head back just enough to meet his eyes. "Nobody, human or machine, can possibly promise that. Anything can happen at any time. We could all be dead tomorrow." Anna was scared. Simon was holding her,  _promising things._  It was too surreal to be true.

"You're right," Simon replied. His eyes were sad and his shoulders sagged like the world was resting on them. As his LED rotated, it flickered between yellow and red. Anna instantly regretted her words and wished she could take them back. Speaking her mind wasn't always the best decision, she had learned, but couldn't always help herself. Now she had hurt a kind soul that was only trying to make her feel better. She had to make this right.

On an impulse, she took Simon's hand in hers and linked systems, sending all the warmth and compassion she could muster into his matrix. "We do know that right now, today, we made things better for ourselves and the people here in Jericho. Together. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

Simon's LED stayed a steady yellow as he opened himself to the link and she could feel his thermal regulator sputtering like hers had been seconds ago.

"I Know," He breathed, closing his eyes and letting the connection wash over him. He was withholding his memories, his pain, but Anna could still feel his pleasure over the intimacy and his desire to soak in as much of her presence as he could. He leaned his head against hers and laced their fingers together and Anna could feel their energy hum in sync. It was the most incredible thing she had ever felt.

Then, to ruin it all, the wheezing hum of malfunctioning parts crept in followed by a deafening silence as the first refugee died since Anna's arrival. She couldn't help herself but to look at the dead husk of her own kind, sitting limply in the corner when she had been reassuring the woman just minutes before. She had seen a lot of carnage when patrolling with Mae but it was always fast, violent, with no time to think; she never had to watch them die or see the bodies afterwards. In this setting, watching it set in slowly while listening to the sobbing and forced to reckon with the androids' fear of death, it was horrifying. Anna felt her systems whir in response and a slow trickle of water filtered down her face. Surprised, she raised a hand to her cheek to feel tears pouring out of ducts she hadn't realized existed.

For the first time, Anna wept.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

"You can watch the game on replay," I stated forcefully. After trekking through five shitty bars I was burnt out and ready to get the investigation over with.

"One last drink," Lieutenant Anderson mumbled and pushed a lock of graying hair out of his face. The bartender instantly poured him another shot as soon as his glass hit the bar.

"Fine," I relented before Connor could insist otherwise. We didn't want to make an enemy out of him immediately. "We will wait for you outside. I need a cigarette."

I stormed out of the bar before the Lieutenant could say another word. For a Friday night, it was turning out to be as shitty as it gets. Outside of the bar was a little better at least. Rain had started to trickle down in misty droplets, throwing the traffic and headlights into a haze. It was mid October and the chill made the rain drops prickle against my face every time the wind picked up. Despite the discomfort of cold, I took a deep breath and relished the clean smell of the air during a storm. In the city, pollution rolled back in as soon as the water stopped and during the downpour was the only time the air was truly fresh. The deep crackle of thunder boomed overhead and I felt the ambient electricity wash over my skin. It was a soothing balm after the seven hour train ride and mile walk to the precinct.

"Do you like the rain, Connor?" I asked my bodyguard. He had been staring out into the city with a blank expression on his face, LED flashing mild blue. At the question he slowly turned to face me and his brow creased as he processed the question.

"In what way do you mean?" he replied, tilting his head to the side. He was almost drenched and his hair had begun to fall into his face and stick in his eyes.

"In any way. There are many facets of beauty in all things, sometimes different stimulus will provoke a different image." I shrugged and turned to face him completely. The wind had picked up and was blowing the now fat droplets under the tattered overhang. The city had quieted in an effort to avoid the weather and the sudden downpour drowned out almost all of the traffic noise. When I closed my eyes I could feel the natural energy swarm around me as the thunder reverberated in my chest. I wanted Connor to share in it, or at least try to. On a whim I took his hands in my own and felt my heart skip a beat in anticipation of what I was about to attempt. Part of me thought it was too soon to provoke an emotional response, but the other part knew better. Connor had been his own man since the moment I met him despite his constant denials.

"Close your eyes," I commanded firmly.

"Mae," he sighed, "I cannot let my guard down."

"Yes you can," I retaliated, "this is important. Close your eyes."

Connor sighed and did as he was told, though the flutter of his eyelids told me he was still apprehensive.

"Let the little details of the noise and the city fade away," I began, not even sure where I was going yet. The little curl of hair that normally fell across his forehead was now stuck directly down his nose and I had to fight back the urge to laugh when he wrinkled it at me.

"If I do that, I won't be able to sense a threat approaching."

"I'm watching out for us," I chided, "just try it."

"Fine." The crease in Connor's brow deepened in effort and after a few seconds he exhaled. "Okay, I am now only aware of ourselves and the storm."

"Alright, now, the earth is a giant machine just like us. It needs water to move around nutrients in order to nourish its soil. Just like the components of our blood use a water solution to nourish our bodies. Like the lightning, we use electrical impulses to move and process thoughts."

"Yes," Connor responded, now frowning, "I fail to see your point in all this."

"That's because you're thinking about it too hard," I laughed, determined to continue the experiment, "Alright now let yourself feel the ground beneath your feet as if you're connected to it. Focus on the wind whipping across your face and let the thunder resonate in you, like you're part of the earth itself. We are, you know. This is just one giant machine and we're just little chemical components moving around inside it."

Connor remained silent and I took that as a sign he was processing my request. His LED indicator was flashing a steady yellow and it made my heart skip three beats. He was progressing faster than any deviant I had ever spoken with about their journey, and certainly a lot faster than Anna. Most were resistant at first but Connor seemed apt to indulge in the emotional side of things whenever he got the chance. It was in his programming to adapt to the humans in his life but each day he explored new interests outside of my own, made comments that didn't quite fit into his subroutines.

I took a deep breath and took us a step backwards into the rain. All at once the sound of the water thundered in my ears and a flash of lightning illuminated Connor's face for a split second. He looked peaceful.

"Feel the rain surround you as the earth nourishes itself, and as it does it nourishes us too. Take in a deep breath and feel the thunder echo in your chest, relish the static on your skin. It is the machine that provides for us all, giving us sustenance. If you concentrate, you can feel yourself melt into it, become a part of everything that is."

Connor did as I bid and inhaled deeply. As his lungs filled, his LED flashed red though he gave no indication of discomfort.

"I," Connor began, eyes still closed, "I think I understand why you like the rain." He cocked his head to the side for a moment before opening his eyes and letting his hands fall away from mine. "We should go back inside for Lieutenant Anderson. We have a crime scene to investigate."

"I agree."

As I followed Connor back inside, I had to bite my cheek to stop the smile from forming on my lips. So many emotions swirled within me I felt like pot of minestrone but one was clear above all- Hope. For myself and for the future, and that was a powerful thing. 


	3. Secret Agent Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The vacuum created by the arrival of freedom  
> And the possibilities it seems to offer  
> It's got nothing to do with you, if one can grasp it  
> It's got nothing to do with you, if one can grasp it  
> A series of shocks - sneakers fall apart  
> Earth keeps on rolling - witnesses falling  
> It's got nothing to do with you, if one can grasp it  
> It's got nothing to do with you, if one can grasp it  
> Yeah, yeah, yeah - up the hill backwards  
> It'll be alright, ooh  
> While we sleep they go to work  
> We're legally crippled it's the death of love  
> It's got nothing to do with you, if one can grasp it  
> It's got nothing to do with you, if one can grasp it  
> More idols then realities, ooh  
> I'm OK, you're so-so, ooh  
> Yeah, yeah, yeah - up the hill backwards  
> It'll be alright ooh  
> -David Bowie, Up The Hill Backwards.

"Sorry," Hank apologized and turned down the heavy metal blaring from the car speakers. He swore under his breath as the traffic light ahead changed from red to a blinking yellow when the hour turned. A couple of cars squeezed through the red light before we made it to the intersection which only caused the tired Lieutenant to swear again and threaten to send a patrol car after them.

"It's fine," I responded quickly from the back seat, "I like metal. You can turn it up if you like."

Hank turned in the passenger seat and raised an eyebrow before facing Connor. "Is she just saying that?"

"No," Connor responded flatly, "nor does Agent Coleman lie to placate others."

Hank went entirely still at Connor's quip. "Alright," he said as if testing the waters before reaching forward and turning the stereo to seventy-five percent volume. The crashing of drums and whine of guitars filled the cab and made further conversation impossible.

_Good,_ I thought, ' _cause so far this ride has been awkward as shit._

Several minutes later Connor turned the radio off and put his foot on the brakes. We were approaching the crime scene and the lights of the police cars danced through the cab and reflected off the rain clinging to the windshield. Blue and red, the color of our blood, mingling together and separating.  _Stop thinking about it. You have work to do._

Once Hank and I had exited the car and cleared Connor to enter the crime scene he didn't waste any time in getting to work. While we spoke with the lab techs he examined this and that, poked around the body, and checked out a couple rooms before squatting down over a splatter of blood. He surveyed it while his LED blinked in response to his thoughts and reached down to get a sample of the blood. The gesture caught Hank's attention and his wondering expression turned to one of disgust when Connor sampled the blood.

"Connor! What the hell are you doing?" he all but exclaimed and I couldn't help but laugh my ass off. After all, it hadn't been so long since it was me having that reaction.

"I'm analyzing the evidence," Connor explain coolly, totally engrossed in his work. His shoulders had relaxed, I noticed, and his expression was calm. Connor was in his element here and loving every second of it. I could understand it too. No uncertainty, no wondering about the humans around him. Just facts, trails, and the endgame.

"He can also analyze your wounds for tetanus and any other traces of harmful bacteria," I added dryly, casting a wry smile at Connor when he looked back at my remark.

"Huh," Hank marveled, "just keep it to yourself, okay?"

"Yes, Lieutenant," Connor responded in a not so convincing tone.

I sighed heavily and cast a glance around the apartment. Typical attack scene. The trail of blood lead from the kitchen and I made my way back there while Connor and Hank checked out the living room. The kitchen was in a state of disarray, dishes knocked to the ground and the table upended with a chair laying on its side. The whole place stank like corpses but this room had the underlying smell of rancid potatoes. Which, I might add, was remarkably similar to rotting flesh except without that sickly sweet punch at the end.

"Connor," I called over my shoulder, "what did you find in here?"

A moment passed before he shouldered his way past the photographers and scanned his surroundings. "I think the fight originated here."

"Me too. What's on the bat?"

"The victim's fingerprints and trace amounts of Thirium," Connor recited, "I believe the deviant was defending itself."

I nodded. "That seems to be the pattern with the cases we've handled so far."

"The deviant also displayed signs of obsessive compulsive writing. RA9, just like the rest of them, except this time there is a religious offering to go along with it."

My ears perked up at that. "Which room?"

"The bathroom."

"Alright. Check for more traces of Thirium. If the deviant left the property we might be able to follow it's trail."

"Yes, Agent Coleman," Connor accepted dutifully and retreated back into the living room. While he was investigating there I rounded the corner and was instantly struck by the way the hallway was arranged. The curtain was ruffled ever so slightly and the attic door wasn't quite closed.

_Hmmmm..._  I had a very strong feeling the Deviant was hiding in the attic. If that was the case, I had ten seconds flat to make it up there before Connor followed the blood trail to the same place. Quickly, I yanked the attic door open and hopped up to grab onto the ledge. For whatever reason, somebody had seen fit to remove the folding stairs that were usually built into the pull string door. Thankfully my hours at the gym enabled me to heft my body over the lip and into the musty space. I could feel the dust on my tongue and made an effort to breathe through my nose.

Two steps in and the clouds parted enough to illuminate a humanoid shape through a tattered curtain. My heart pounded in my chest as I pulled it aside only to come face to face with an incredibly creepy mannequin complete will rolls of fat to match the man it was modeled after.  _Alright, the deviant isn't as terrible at hiding as I thought..._  Pushing forward, I rounded the corner and heard the small shuffle of steps from behind an old dresser.

"Shhh," I barely breathed, coming closer to have a look at the deviant. He was cowering in the corner, cringing as I squatted down next to him, "I won't hurt you." I was speaking so quietly that I wasn't sure if even android ears could understand me. My heart broke when the moonlight shifted again and illuminated his battered body, gashes on his arms.  _Defensive wounds, and he's not lashing out. This man isn't a threat._

"I'll let you go but only if you promise not to hurt anyone," I whispered. The android was still terrified but managed a weak nod. Moon beams danced across his face and I could see a film of dust covering the dried blood on his face.

"Agent Coleman, are you alright?" Connor called from down below, "The thirium leads to the attic. The deviant might be in there with you. I'll be there momentarily."

"I'm fine," I responded immediately, "Nothing up here but Herman Muenster's Mannequin and a bunch of dusty junk. The window's open too, so I think the deviant left when somebody came to the victim's house."

I couldn't stay any longer or comfort the deviant in any way. If I didn't get moving Connor would be up here and I would be found out, the deviant disassembled, and who knows what would happen to my career after that. Almost unconsciously, I twirled the band on my left ring finger twice to the left and thrice to the right and heard it click into place. With speed even an android would be impressed by, I took the deviant by the hand and watched the look of shock on his face when the key to Jericho uploaded to his system. He opened his mouth to say something but I covered it with my free hand and shook my head violently.  _You will be caught._

Pressing my ring twice to deactivate it, I walked confidently to the entryway to the attic and allowed Connor to catch me on the way down.

"The rain washed away any signs of the deviant. I did see some thirium on the sidewalk but the oils from the cars washed the trail away."

"It should be registered in the system. File a report and send out an alert to all enforcement in the greater area. It could be miles away by now," I ordered, all business, channeling disappointment over our failure to solve the case.

Instead of instantly following instructions like he usually did, Connor stared at me hard and long before closing his eyes and making the report.  _Fuck. What will he do if he suspects something?_

"Done," he responded after a few moments, "I will now escort you back to the hotel."

~Three Hours Later, At The Hotel~

I wanted to interact with Connor, to smooth things over after the investigation, but my heart was heavy with sadness. Not the crying, intense sadness but the raw feeling you get when old wounds get salted. The deviant's blood splattered face danced before my eyes and changed places with Anna's own crumpled form, and every other deviant we had run across. Some were good and we still sent them to be destroyed, some were bad and we failed to catch them, and sometimes we got to help the right people. Sometimes. It wasn't enough, though, fighting the good fight. Somehow nothing ever seemed like enough which only left me with a big gaping hole and I didn't even know what used to be there or what to fill it with, and it made me just plain sad.

"You smell like that corpse," I managed when Connor made to sit down on the bed, "I think your clothes absorbed the odor."

"This is the only uniform Cyberlife provided," Connor shrugged, "I can wait outside until it airs out."

_Fuck me._  "I'm not going to make you stand out there just because you smell bad. Go to the bathroom and take your clothes off. I'll wash them while you shower."

"Very well," he stated, starting to undo his tie. Once again he found my eyes and held them, his head angled down to shadow his eyes which only made the gaze more intense. "Earlier today, when that driver almost hit us, why did you pull me out of the way? You could have been injured by staying to help me."

"I-" I was totally caught off guard. It was such a small incident on the way to the DPD I had almost forgotten it, "I don't know. It doesn't matter, does it?"

Connor took three steps towards me and took off his coat, proceeding with the buttons on his shirt. I gulped loudly but still held his gaze. "I don't know. You tell me, Mae." He finished removing his clothes and handed them to me in a wet bundle which I took with shaking hands. It was all I could do not to let my gaze wander to his anatomy. I already knew he was equipped with  _all_  the parts needed for undercover work, in addition to being able to deactivate his LED.  _Why does he always have to make thinks awkward?_

"It's complicated," I deflected, "just get yourself washed up before the smell settles into the room."

Without further ado I turned and bolted out of the room and down the long hallway to the laundry room. Once Connor's clothes were churning in the washer I leaned against the machine and slowly slid down to a sitting position on the floor. The speed wash only took five minutes and I lamented the high-grade facilities. I could really use a couple hours reprieve and a bottle of whiskey to calm my shaking hands. What the hell kind of game Connor was playing, I didn't know. Either he was coming around, or gathering evidence. Those thrice damned brown eyes were unreadable and hypnotic and it left me wondering if I was willing to let myself get tricked into being arrested for...whatever it was going on between us.

Either way I felt like I was done. I was sick of keeping my guard up every waking hour of the day. Even before I was assigned to investigate deviant activity I felt Isolated, alone in my ideals and beliefs. It felt like the world just stopped caring and it turned into a crime to have a bit of compassion. Sure, the media harped on our enlightened lifestyle. The crime rate dropping, progressive beliefs becoming the norm; but were they really? The racial tensions had cooled off from within the human population and now that the next big thing was here we reacted in the same way as before: with war. War on anything that was different or new until the world was shamed into accepting change once again.

The timer beeped so I moved Connor's suit to the dryer and tapped the little touch display to select the low setting. It would buy me some time and I was fairly certain his clothes would shrink if I put it on full blast. The mental image of Connor with sleeves that stopped short of his wrists and pants that fell inches short of his shoes popped into my head and I let myself laugh some of the tension away. I wasn't overthinking things necessarily, but it did seem like a good time to pack everything away and let my subconscious chew on it for a while. Hell, maybe it would make for some more interesting dreams.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Anna was just about as shell shocked as the others when Simon accepted Marcus' plan to raid the Cyberlife shipping facility. After days of sitting around in despair watching android after android die, it was the ray in the dark she was looking for. Initially Simon had wanted her to stay behind when they were hatching the plan but she had refused, and surprisingly North had come to her rescue. With so much opposition, Simon had no choice but to relent. Now he was staring at her sadly from his seat on a couple of crates and his LED spun red with frustration.

"I know what you're going to say," Anna remarked before he could even open his mouth.

"Then you know I have a fair point. If we get caught it will put Mae under a lot of scrutiny. I know she's important to you, do you really want to take that risk?"

Anna sauntered over to where he was sitting and took a place beside him with her side pressed against his. "I thought you didn't like her."

Simon smiled patiently and put an arm around her, but cautiously, like he still wasn't quite sure where he stood with her. "It's hard to trust a human after everything that's happened. I never meant her any harm, or malice."

She knew it was the truth and felt her own frustration bubble to the top. "She's a capable woman, and I know she wouldn't want me to stay here and sit on my hands while other people put themselves at risk. She would understand how I feel and I wish you did too."

"That's not fair," Simon frowned, "I know how you feel, and you know the real reason why I don't want you to come along."

"You can't protect me forever," Anna shot back with a little too much anger and flinched as Simon did the same, "I'm sorry. It's just, I'd like to be able to protect you too and actually do something to help the others. Markus wants to lead a rebellion and that takes supplies. You wouldn't believe what the humans take with them for just one operation."

"I know," Simon sighed before beaming a warm smile down on Anna, "this will be good for us."

Anna smiled back and reached out a hand to connect. She wanted him to feel her excitement, her fear, her worry. To know her mind like only another android could. Simon didn't hesitate and the cool feeling of his mind washing over hers was a reprieve. They both laughed in union, realizing that the other felt the same.

"What should we do until nightfall?" Anna asked casually, relieved the tension had cleared the room and wanting a distraction. The anticipation was killing her.

"Lets watch the city," Simon shrugged. He would be just as content saving a little energy but he knew Anna needed fresh air and sunlight to be happy. To his delight, he realized that caring for somebody made him feel more content than he's ever been. Suddenly, sunlight and fresh air made him happy too.

At that thought, Simon felt like he had just ingested a brick and a bolt of fear shot through him and made his regulator hitch. He did a quick self analysis and all systems checked out. It wasn't a mechanical malfunction. For the first time in his life, Simon was happy, and if things went wrong tonight that happiness might be gone as soon as it had come. He wasn't afraid to love, but he was afraid to lose what he had built with Anna. The thought of her shutting down was more terrifying than facing death himself and Simon found that hard to reconcile. The thought was unsettling and his own inability to process it with android speed shook him to the core. How would they all manage if they found this feeling? How did the humans?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

I was dreading my return to the motel room perhaps a little more than I should be. As soon as I turned the key in the door I heard the tinkling of glass and shoved the door open like my own life depended on it. On instinct I drew my gun only to find myself bearing down on Connor and a pile of broken glass that used to be a coffee pot.

"I'm sorry, Mae," Connor apologized quickly and raised his hands in the typical defensive gesture, "I was only trying to help."

"Hell," I cursed and looked down at the pile of rumpled clothes laying in the doorway, "don't scare me like that. I thought somebody was attacking you."

"Do you find that thought distressing?" Connor immediately shot back, face open and sincere.  _Damn his inquisitive nature._

"I don't know," I grumbled and picked up the laundry before closing the door ever so forcefully, "yeah, I guess. Stop breaking shit and I won't have to worry."

I paused and had to suppress a laugh. Connor had found a pair old boxers I had gotten as a joke gift and chose my tattered old college shirt to wear. He looked almost comfortable without his tie strangling him half to death; although he seemed to like it that way as he tightened the damn thing every five seconds.

"You look relaxed," I remarked at the thought, "you can keep the clothes if you want."

"Thank you," he responded politely, "I'm sure it will make our nightly activities run smoothly. You've told me on numerous occasions my android uniform is distracting."

I immediately flushed with embarrassment. Of course his jacket was annoying, it turned him into a walking light-bulb, but I didn't want to insult him over it. It wasn't his fault most people needed a neon sign to tell an android from a human. As if the LED at their temples wasn't a big enough clue.

"Just wear what feels best," I shrugged and the gesture felt forced and closed off, "you should be comfortable in the home."

"Thank you," Connor responded quickly, like he always did, "I enjoy the level of consideration that you've given me thus far." He almost smiled.  _Almost._  Then he reached down to pick up the glass shards with his bare hands.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I exclaimed, rushing over to the center of the room and pulling his hands out of the way, "you'll cut yourself. Androids can scar, you know, and you might damage your censors. Won't you miss them if they're gone?" It was incredible to me that he wouldn't have thought of that already.

Connor's LED flashed yellow and he slowly removed his hand from my grasp. "You have a point. I'll take better care of myself in the future."

"Thank you," I sighed. A tremor of irritation over his carelessness ran through me and I had to shove it away. Carefully, I wrapped my hand in a used towel and placed the shards into the waste bin. "See, a little protection can go a long way."

"I'm curious, Mae," Connor began, brow furrowed and stance angled towards me to put me on the defensive, "it seems like you're concerned with my well-being but whenever I ask you about it you exhibit discomfort. Why is that?"

"Jesus," I responded weakly, unsure of what to say. A million excuses flowed through my head and over it all was the dead truth.  _I think I'm falling for your sassy, aggressive, compassionate android ass and I hate every second of it? How about that for your answer._

"Humans don't like talking about emotional issues, Connor, just leave it."

"So you have feelings for me? Are they romantic?" Connor pressed in further like he was in the interrogation room. Thankfully I was still squatting down to pick up the glass and could stand up to get some air.

"Fucking hell, what does it matter? I told you I don't want to talk about it," I leveled a glare that could cut diamonds, "Let's drop the subject. You like watching T.V., why don't we do that for a while?"

"Yes, Agent Coleman," Connor remarked dryly and mechanically sat on the bed to display his anger, "that will be fine, if you can't handle this discussion."

He was baiting me and I knew it so I just sat quietly on the bed beside him. His LED was still flashing yellow and I knew he was a hair away from getting aggressive again so I let us just sit in stony silence for the rest of the night. I glanced over occasionally and what struck me the most is his indicator never went back to blue. Not once.


	4. Fuel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personal things that are pretty terrible are happening and I might not be weekly updating like I'd like, or y'all would like, but I haven't abandoned this fic. There's a lot planned out but it might just suck finding the time to write it for a little while. For now, I'm gonna focus on Connor, cause he's a soothing balm to my soul, but there's gonna be a lot to do with Anna and Simon and the two will tie into each other at some point.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments guys, cheered me up a bit. <3

~1 week later, at the Precinct ~

"What we are about to do is not a good thing, Connor," I stated evenly while buckling myself into a combat harness, "You need to deactivate your LED as well. This is a dark mission."

"Understood," Connor remarked and placed a finger at his temple. In the blink of an eye the LED was off and he looked just like your typical above average human male. "I do not understand why this is a bad thing."

"Well, not entirely. It is a raid, and it will hopefully stop the deaths of a few innocents, but we're mostly trying to stop the trafficking. A lot of tears will be shed over the corpses we leave behind today, and for what?" I paused to let him consider my words while strapping down a standard issue Kevlar vest, wordlessly handing Connor his own.

"Is that a rhetorical question, Agent Coleman?" Connor asked carefully. He was always good at addressing me formally in public, even if we were alone. "I also do not require the same level of protection as a human would. As an android, I cannot feel pain."

"You can't feel pain but you  _can_  die. Wear the fucking vest."

I pulled a SWAT jacket over my head and surveyed the blinking LED displays on the front and sleeves. Once we get ready to swarm, they will be deactivated and we will have to rely on our instinct and eyesight not to shoot each other. In an operation like this they only served as targets. I took a moment to collect myself and traced a gaze across the benches in the changing room before landing on Connor.

"Agent Coleman, you do know that if I die on the job Cyberlife can send an identical model to take my place," he stated slowly, testing, holding my gaze with his own warm brown eyes. He wanted me to say it. Say that I cared. Normally I would resist at all costs but what the hell? I might get gunned down tonight anyway. Might as well leave the world on an honest note.

I took three steps forward and placed my hands on both sides of his face. "Yes, of course I know that, but he wouldn't be  _you._  My Connor, who owns me and not the other way around."

Connor closed his eyes and without his LED it was impossible to gauge his mood, but he did lean into my hands and cover one with his own. My heart thudded in my chest so hard I worried I'd use up all my adrenaline being this close to him.

"He would have all my memories of you," he murmured into my hand before opening his eyes again, "we could pick up right where we left off, give or take a few hours."

That statement alone almost sent me to my knees and I felt a tear threaten to drop out of my eyelid and roll down my cheek.

"Would his soul be the same? Would it be you, reincarnated? Or would it be a new soul with your memories trying to fit into a life he didn't make?" I shot back. His remark was hurtful, even though I knew he only meant to soothe.

"I don't know," Connor responded, unsettled, "I've never thought of it that way before."

"Wear the vest, and promise me you will do everything in your power to keep yourself intact. Don't take a bullet for anyone, not even me."

The lock of hair that normally fell over Connor's face swayed gently in the breeze generated by the forced air system and his eyes were shadowed in the overhead lights. The tension in the air was palpable and I felt my cheeks heat up at the sustained contact. While we were talking one of my arms dropped to his waist and I could feel the hum of his internal mechanisms. In that moment, I prayed to god they would never stop.

Connor had his own ideas and placed a strong hand on the small of my back and pulled me closer until our bodies were pressed against each other.

"Mae," he whispered into my ear, "you know I couldn't promise that. Nobody can." His lips were so close they grazed my skin when he spoke and I could feel his breath play against my jaw. Even before a raid, I felt myself relax under his hands. He could make a fortune for Cyberlife by selling the spell he put on me every time those brown eyes met mine.

"I can always leave you here," I threatened; but the words were empty and we both knew it.

I wanted so badly to be the one to breach the gap, to just incline my head the slightest bit and inhale everything there was to him; but time was short, and ours was up. Hank was pounding at the door and I could hear the buzz of radio chatter filter in through the walls.

Dawn was breaking over the eve of battle.

~RAID~

I moved on cat's feet through the poorly lit hallways of the renovated church. Some slum lord had bought it and promptly handed it over to a turn-key red ice operation. The building was in various states of disrepair and our intelligence placed the location of a medium sized lab on the basement level, with expected heavy resistance on every floor. Connor and I had been assigned to the infiltration team, heading in first while our backup came down from the roof to catch whomever escaped us. Hank was waiting with the squad cars outside to round up the people who exited through windows, and another team followed close on our heels to evac any wounded officers. Connor followed close on my heels and I could feel his presence at my back, surrounding me, and we moved as one. Both of us were focused on the mission, dipped into a battle-trance where the only thing that governed our actions was the primal instinct to survive.

The first group was waiting for us ten yards in, around a bend in the hallway. Two men with shotguns, one with a 9mm. Within seconds their brains were splattered against the wall and the Lieutenant in front of me dropped to the ground, motionless. I could hear the heavy stomp of boots as two of the evac officers dragged him back out of the building.

I advanced with determination and signaled to the rest of our unit to disperse slightly and follow my lead. We could hear shots firing on the floors above us and within minutes the lights to the building went out.

_They're trying to throw us off._  I let out a low whistle to let the others know to stop and waited a few moments for our eyes to adjust to the darkness.

"It could be a ruse," I breathed to Connor, "they want us to put on our night vision so they can blind us as soon as we close in." I didn't know that for sure but it was too soon into the fight for a fuse box to be hit. We had just gotten here.

Connor passed the word along and I could hear the murmur of my agents as they protested and even the distinctive click as a few disobeyed my direct orders.  _It's your life, assholes._  There wasn't any time to argue so I pressed forward at a rapid pace, rounding three more corners before coming face to face with the stairwell. I signaled to Connor and Agent White to take positions on either side of the door before slowly turning the knob and shoving it open with a bang. There was the sound of three startled men from the landing below and I could see their shadows dancing in the moonbeams as they took position to fire on us.

There was no way in hell I was fighting down a staircase without some kind of edge. I signaled to the team to switch to thermal view on their helmets and extracted a small smoke grenade from one of the pockets on my vest. With one final look back at my team, all members at the ready, I pulled the pin and hefted it into the stairwell.

Immediately the men began to fire blindly and I could hear screams of pain followed by the clattering of feet as they made their way back down the stairs. Hopefully one down via friendly fire. Who knew how many to go. We only had a small window while they were blinded so I charged down the stairs.

One bleeding man on the stairwell and we stomped right past him and pushed into the hall. It was eerily quiet, and I could barely make out the shuffle of frantic footfall a little further down.

"What do you see?" I breathed to Connor who was standing so close I could feel the fabric of his uniform brushing against mine.

"They took a right turn, although most of the recent foot traffic leads left," he responded in an equally low voice.

_We should split up. Famous last words._  It was true, though. We needed to flush out the men that fled the stairwell so they couldn't double back on us; but we also couldn't risk letting the main group escape. We were so close now, especially if the backup team swept the area behind us for any stragglers.

I confidently gave the signal for two of my men to break off in pursuit and held only Connor and Sargent Culver with me. The emergency lights flickered making our environment distorted and casting demonic shadows off every scrap of garbage lining the hall, making it look like there was movement where there was none.  _Good,_  I thought. We were all trained to fight in the dark, the prey wasn't. They might be unnerved, jumpy already at being under siege, and give away their position for a shadow.

We advanced at a steady pace but didn't make it long before a door swung open a few yards away and I could feel bullets pepper the front of my vest and tear through the reinforced fabric on my arms. Unfortunately for our aggressors I didn't feel more than what the impacts did to my balance. In a trance, I countered the force of fire and planted my feet. With the heat sensors in my helmet the dealers were lit up like Christmas trees and I methodically picked them off one by one while Connor laid down cover fire.

Gunfights don't last long. Within seconds it was over and we were advancing down the hall at a much more rapid pace. I could feel myself losing blood from a graze on my left shoulder. We had to end this swiftly if we wanted to be successful.

At the end of the hall we could see the flickering of flames from the manufacturing room. The ingredients were volatile so one misplaced bullet and the whole building went up in flames. We couldn't risk a firefight here.

I signaled for Connor and Sargent Culver to stay where they were. They needed a good field of view if I got charged by the doorway. With an inaudible sigh, I activated my gas mask and felt the filter mechanisms click into place over my mouth and nose, eyes still protected by the riot shield. Hugging the wall, I swiftly approached the door and removed two small grenades from one of the side pockets of my vest.  _Tear gas._  A pretty wicked brew, too, specially formulated to become inert when it comes in contact with other chemicals yet right on the threshold of lethal when it came to humans. One of the new developments required to deal with red ice. They didn't even test it on the agents like they did with pepper spray and tasers. It made me shudder to think about it.

The screams were sickening and instant. I could hear the tinkling of shattering glass while the criminals fought against the noxious fumes. One was making their way to the door. Once she rounded the frame and came into view I raised my weapon and then stopped cold.

_She was pregnant._  Almost full term by the looks of it. She was choking on the gas, eyes like hard little cherries, chest heaving.

I ripped my own mask off and scrambled over to her, now beginning to choke on the noxious fumes myself. My lungs felt like they were on fire and my eyes were watering so badly I could barely see to fix the mask over her face.  _Why, why, why?_  I couldn't fathom what this woman was doing down here in her condition. What sort of life lead up to this moment for her, I couldn't imagine. A desperate one, most likely. Shittier than anyone would want to know.

I started to feel faint and my leg was numb though I didn't know why. Curious, I looked down to see a gush of blood rising rhythmically above my leg. Somewhere Connor was shouting my name and within seconds the blurry shape of his face filtered into view. Every part of my being was on fire and I was pretty sure I was dying. With what little control I had over my own body at this point, I twisted my ring three times to the right and once to the left and felt the little mechanism inside hum to life. With more force, or maybe less than I thought, I slapped my hand against the side of Connor's face. His skin receded and I could barely detect the yellow blur as his LED spun back to life.

"You can't help but be yourself, Connor," I whispered, or at least tried to, as my eyes swelled shut and I could feel the dark of unconsciousness overtake me.

_If I die right now, I'm okay with it,_ I thought quickly,  _cause I'm with Connor, and I love him._


End file.
